Domestic Violence in Older Adults

It can happen at any age. It can happen to anyone.

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Domestic violence does not only affect younger adults. Older adults also experience abuse—often in ways that are hidden, misunderstood, or overlooked.

Did you know:

  • 1 in 7 older adults experiences domestic violence.**
  • 50% of older victims of violent crimes were assaulted by a family member.**
  • 31% of homicides among women age 65 and older are related to intimate partner violence.**

Sources:

  • **National Alliance to End Homelessness; Rosen et al., Violence in Older Adults, National Library of Medicine (2019)

Understanding Domestic Violence in Later Life

Domestic violence in older adulthood is often shaped by unique physical, emotional, and social factors, including:

  • Chronic health conditions or increased dependence on a partner or caregiver
  • Physical or cognitive changes that increase vulnerability
  • Limited income or financial control by another person
  • Isolation from friends, family, or community support
  • Lack of awareness that certain behaviors are abusive

Many Older Adults do not Seek Help Because of:

  • Fear of being alone or losing housing or care
  • Long-term emotional attachment or loyalty in relationships
  • Generational and cultural beliefs about privacy, marriage, or staying together
  • Shame, confusion, or not realizing that the behavior is abusive

Abuse Can Begin or Change Later in Life

Domestic violence does not always start early in a relationship—it can begin later in life due to:

  • A new intimate partner in later years
  • Increased caregiving needs or dependency
  • Major life transitions such as retirement, illness, or loss

In long-term relationships, abuse may also evolve over time, shifting from physical violence to:

  • Emotional manipulation or humiliation
  • Financial control or exploitation
  • Isolation from friends, family, or services
  • Threats, intimidation, or verbal abuse
  • Control over transportation, medication, caregiving, or communication

How You Can Help

If someone discloses concerns or if you suspect abuse:

  • Listen for signs of fear, control, isolation, or dependence
  • Gently express concern without judgment
  • Believe their experience
  • Understand that leaving or changing the situation may take time
  • Offer connection to confidential support services

Your response can make a meaningful difference.

If You Need Help: Where to Start

Here are resources for different kinds of support:

If you are in emotional distress or crisis right now
If you feel overwhelmed, unsafe, anxious, or unsure what to do next:
Visit 988 New Mexico, call 988, or text “TALK” to 988
Free, confidential, 24/7 support for emotional distress, mental health crises, or feeling overwhelmed. Call, text, or chat with trained local counselors.

If you are experiencing or suspect domestic violence
For emergency shelter, safety planning, advocacy, counseling, and support:
Esperanza Shelter, call or text: 505-416-7184 or 888-473-5312
Free and confidential trauma-informed services in English and Spanish for everyone, including:

  • 24/7 domestic violence hotline: 505-416-7184 or 888-473-5312
  • Emergency shelter
  • Safety planning
  • Counseling and support services for survivors and those who cause harm
  • Legal and court advocacy
  • Medical and community systems navigation
  • Education and prevention programs

If you need help finding services or support
If you need other support or are looking for multiple types of assistance:
211 Info Helpline, call 211
Free, confidential referrals for housing, food, healthcare, transportation, and safety resources.

If you are concerned about an older adult (60+)
If someone you know may be experiencing abuse, neglect, or exploitation:

Other Resources

National Domestic Violence Hotline
 Confidential support via phone, chat, or text

National Network to End Domestic Violence
Safety planning tools and advocacy resources

NCALL – The National Clearinghouse on Abuse in Later Life
Resources, advocacy, and information for victims, family members, service providers, and trainers working in domestic violence and sexual assault programs.

National Center on Elder Abuse (NCEA)
Federal resource on elder abuse, neglect, and financial exploitation; offers education, prevention tools, and guidance for reporting and response

Eldercare Locator
Helps connect older adults with local services nationwide